I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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