At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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