You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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