Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
