you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
