Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
