If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
