I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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