If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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