At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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