You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
