honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Alive.
So much puke
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize