Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
