if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
