You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
