i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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