O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
