so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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