8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
