this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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