When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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