After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
