I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize