Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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