can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
