Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize