If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
