Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
