You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
