Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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