so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just had sex on a roof
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
