i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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