peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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