My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
