Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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