i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You are the jesus of drinking
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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