hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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