He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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