Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
