i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sext me about skeletons
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