I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
