dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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