What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
