Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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