i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize