Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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