Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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