Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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