Capitaan dildo arrescate!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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