there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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