Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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