...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
