I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
