You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
