I need to stop coming to work sober
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
These tits shall not be calmed
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize