She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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