Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
