this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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