FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
