Sry I called you an 8
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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