she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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