brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
