I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
