I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
