Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am naked and annoyed.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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