Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
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Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
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