Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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