just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
