why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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